Saturday, May 15, 2010

Dale Maitland - Writing competency level of a 3rd grader

This is the e-mail I received from my mom's recently divorced ex-husband.

Read and be amazed.

Obviously, I've been doing things to him that upset him...

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From Dale Maitland to Franz M. Vorenkamp

Why don't you go get your eye brows plucked and dye your hair red again. You looked so ridiculous. You are fat for your age. I didn't have an ounce of fat on me at 22. I have lost about 16 pounds since you last saw me.

You are  incompetent.

You can't subtract when you have $30 in your account and spend $35 DUH you bounce your account. A 2nd grader can handle that.

You blasted through toll booths and  got multiple parking tickets in Plymouth and at school because your an idiot.

You are socially incompetent.

You say things like your mom doing a black guy to my family or your balls hanging out or sparking people for hours like a retard.

You are a slob and lazy.

When we went in your apartment your so damn lazy you can't even close a dresser drawer or put your cap on your toothpaste. No one will want to live with that except your MOMMY.

Your dorm told you so and you were so upset that people didn't like you. wah wah

Your own family Michael and Cheri said they wouldn't want to put up your your slobiness shit. YES THEY SAID THAT BEHIND YOUR BACK.

You wondered for 5 years why Courtney left you, GET A CLUE.

Any one who likes Godzilla movies is an idiot. My brother and I used to watch it to laugh at how stupid they were and you have spent years and went to the G'Fest which you miserably failed and people laughed at your incompetence. Your trailer sucked by the way.

Your friends look like a cross between Big Bang Theory, Revenge of the Nerds and a Star Trek convention. You can be a big man on campus with a bunch of losers.

The biggest plus with leaving was not to put up with you and your sorry ass. I loved your mom and she is wonderful but don't know how to lay down any rules that would promote a happy peaceful household with you there. POOR LITTLE FRANZIE HE LOST HIS DAD AND HAVE TO GIVE HIM ANYTHING HE WANTS AND BABY HIM.  Does she rock you at night?

Yes I couldn't stand you for the above reasons and more....

Anything you write will not be read from this point.

BYE YOU EFFEMINATE PRISSY PRICK